Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Well here's a good "Howdy Do" to me in the morning...

This is a Yahoo message that I got this morning from a known MySpacer friend of mine.

xte****:
Good Morning Sunshineeeeeeeeeeee lol
dammit, i stepped in cat shit! lol

That was the entire message.

Always good information to share with someone.
It certainly inspired me to have a wonderful and productive day.
On the other hand... I wish that I had slept more than two hours.
I'm tired and bitchy... but, amused none the less.

Art imitates life - My oral surgery... bloody hell!! I'm going to miss an "Angel" episode!

Another chapter in the Aventurous Life of Phil - April 2005:
The trip to the Dentist ending in a game of Slice & Dice -

On Monday, April 25th, I went to my dentist to finish the job of putting a crown in (actually two, apparently).

Simple enough, one might think (unless your squeamish).
But no, as she is poking and prodding around in my food-hole, she realizes that I have issues. No, not as in personal mental issues, but something more insidious (that means serious). I need some serious surgery, and, like, now! Before any infections can set in.

Presto! I am scheduled for Wednesday, April 27th - two days later.
No time like the present, they say.

Wednesday comes around, and I am watching an episode of "Angel" on TNT, the great drama re-run network.
"Angel" for those of you uninitiated, is about a vampire of the same name... who has a soul. Get it? Good.

This episode concerns a woman who wants to become like him. In a fit of outrage, Angel forces her to drink blood by pouring it down her throat. At this point, I have to leave to make my appointment time. (And if you know me, I'm almost never on time... except this time.)

I get to the dentist and it's wham-bam! Right down to it. I'm settled in, injected with foul-tasting anesthetic, and promptly started upon with the scalpel.

In no time, I am suddenly reliving the very scene I just left from "Angel".
I am now forced to drink an onslaught of blood... my own... right down my throat! Perhaps the "Angel" episode was a sick look into what was about to happen to me. Thrilling, to say the least.

But wait... there's more... Sensing my twitchy behavior within my chair, my dentist informs me, very non-chalantly, that, "There is nothing in your mouth that you cannot swallow. So go ahead."

At this point a thought came to mind, followed later by another...
1) What if I do not WANT to swallow the viscous red liquid flowing freely down into my gullet?
2) What about the surgical tools jammed into my yap? Are THEY OK to swallow? Technically, she did mention that anything within the confines of my jaws was "OK to swallow".

There is a further thought to this situation... The idea of someone suggesting that whatever is "in your mouth is OK to swallow", seems to be something that mostly guys are famous for saying to unsuspecting girls. Usually in high school, before common sense sets in.

Was this my doctor's way of getting back at me for being a male? Forcing me to swallow something, that was created by my own body, but that neither taste, nor texture, nor desire made me wish to do so. Interesting theorems. Yes, some of you do worry that I over-think too much. Perhaps I do. I like it. You should too. Someone has to ponder these odd problems out. Stay tuned for further adventures...