It's time for COMIC CON 2009!!

Hey kids... it's that time of year again - July! Or, as we know it, Halloween in Summer.

It's time for Comic Con International in sunny San Diego, CA.

As always, we are going to be running late getting down there. But, no matter, so long as we check into our hotel before the next morning, and get some sleep... so we can grab out free breakfasts in the morning... we'll all be happier for it.

Stay tuned as I put the updates online of where we are, what we're doing, and who we're seeing (or who we're doing, um... whatever).

Bad Band Photos - Funny collection with funnier captions

Rock, blues, country, hip hop... no one is safe here. Not even family singing groups.

A friend sent me this link from Rock And Roll Confidential (Your Band Sucks) website. Awesome!

It's a list of photos that never should have been taken of bands of all genres.

What makes it great are the even funnier captions someone wrote for them.

http://rockandrollconfidential.com/hall/index.php?page=1

Just so you get the ongoing inside jokes... "brick-walling" is a term to anyone who has ever posed by a brick wall (you know, to "look cooler"). It's consider a very bad trendy idea. Railroad tracks are the equivalent to brick walls as background decoration.

Click on the first photo in the top left corner. Then continue from there by clicking the arrow to the right (unless you want to go to the previous photo).

Top 10 Stupidest "Black Metal" Band Photos

"Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures Of All Time"

Here is something that is sure to put a smile on your face. These are two webpages dedicated to the stupidest "Black Metal" band outfits / make-up.
I have to say that these two webpages are a cure for constipation. I about crapped myself a few times, laughing so hard at the sheer stupidity of everything on here.

Don't just look at the photos, read the commentaries. There are two especially funny comments on the first page -
Band ..2 - "What's with the shin guards? Since when does Satan have a hockey team?",
and also Band ..1 - "It looks like he punched a fucking procupine."

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures -
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/1054/page/top____most_ridiculous_black_metal_pics_of_all_time.html

The Other Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures -
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/976/page/_the_other__top____most_ridiculous_black_metal_pics_of_all_time.html

Enjoy!

Rules For Bands (taken from "Summer Of The Living Dead" site)

(The following was taken from a webpage called "Summer Of The Living Dead" which takes about the problems inherent in our musical culture today. It was actually written in 1995, but still seems to hold. The writer was a bit out there and wordy, but the ending - which is what I have reprinted - is rather amusing.)

The following set of rules for bands should be instituted worldwide as ironclad law (with stiff prison terms for violations and, in extreme cases, summary execution), through international plebiscite or, if necessary, an armed campaign of subjugation.

1) You may not record a new album simply to have some new product to promote so you can tour, then never play any of the songs.

2) You may not make a big deal of band members' newfound clean-and- soberness when drugs and alcohol were all that ever made your music listenable.

3) If you are a peace-and-love style folkie who has been revealed as a secret wife-beater, you are banned from touring and recording for life (this is the James Taylor rule).

4) If you ever recorded a song with references to Eastern religion, you may not accept more than $10 and a bowl of rice for any performance.

5) You may not advertise that your band contains "all original members" and proceed to list them if no one knew your names in the first place.

6) You may not reunite if your band has a three-letter name beginning with Y and ending with S.

7) You may not replace dead members of your reunited band with their children. (Julian Lennon, take note: you come near any of the Beatles and we're letting Mark Chapman out and giving him a howitzer.)

8) You may not use the name "'X' Brothers Band" for a band which no longer contains more than one brother (this is the Allman Brothers rule).

9) Backup bands of deceased star "Y" may not bill themselves as "The "Y" Band."

10) Only one farewell tour per band. We don't think that's too much to ask for. If we all work together we can lick this thing.

And remember, your mind is a room that you have to live in. Don't fill it up with crap.

Summer Of The Living Dead
http://ezone.org/ez/e4/articles/jones/summer.html

Sony's New "Must Have" Product

The new Sony “Stupid Piece Of Shit”
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

Yet another "must have" product from the fine people at Sony (as brought to you by The Onion)

Happy New Year 2009

It's finally here! No, not the phone books... 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

This year I opted to stay home and watch the festivities on TV... while being safe, cozy, and warm. No chances of any trouble.

As is my custom around the Holidays, and while waiting for midnight to appear, I was watching TV. Watching the news more specifically.

While spreading my New Year's good tidings and cheer to everyone in my phone address book, I realized what I was watching on the news - the biggest fireworks show in town. Jews and Palestinians blowing the shit out of each other. Oh happy day. Give it a break. Religion and real estate can both kill ya. Ugh! Then a few other gruesome stories about Holiday unfestivities. Good grief!

It was my friend who actually suggested the idea of the big Middle East fireworks show.
All I could think of was God Bless America (or anywhere else but there). I was lucky to be in a warm home, with electricity to run my TV, and had money to buy things such as Sparkling Cider, while enjoying the Holidays.

We take a lot for granted in the free world. I mentioned the above to give you all a moment to reflect and respect what it is that you, we, all have. No matter how small or how much, at least we have something, or someone.

So in the new year, take a few moments in the day to acknowledge the things around you, so that you can better appreciate the things that make you happy.

But most of all... make yourselves a great 2009!

What I Got For Christmas - Broken, Again!

I had to share this tale of my recent misadventure.

Two weeks before Christmas and I'm out working late in a neighborhood whose street light had apparently gone out. While crossing the street, I knew there was a curb ahead, but couldn't quite figure out where. Slowing down and paying attention might have been a good idea at this point.

Just then... left foot meets curb, and a moment later... right knee meets cement pavement. Nice. Snap, crackle, pop.

I feel around it, all seems OK. I walk to, and into the front door of the home. I look at it indoors. No apparent swelling (yet), so back to work I go. By the time I got home though, my knee was swollen to something the size of a canteloupe. Great. Damage apparently done after all.

Let's keep in mind that last year, I sweetly crushed my entire left hand fingers in a broken, slatted garage door, resulting in some breaks. I thought, let's top that off this year with a new injury.

The next day, off to the Urgent Care I go. The first doc looks at my knee and simply "ooh's and aah's" for a few moments. He requests an X-ray. The X-ray tech woman, of East Indian descent (not necessarily a major issue of the story, other than a slightly cultural attitude towards me, and somewhat argumentive), takes between 6 to 8 different view shots. This strikes me odd, and makes me question her credentials. A knee X-ray for this type of injury usually is 2 shots. I should know, I've done this before plenty. She then proceeds to shoot X-rays of my other knee as well. I can tell you that this lady did not like to be second-guessed, nor her work commented upon.

I go back to the first doc. He calls in a consulting doc. They concur that I "must have" a fractured knee. BUT, "it may just be ghosting," although neither was too sure.

The consulting doc feels around both knees, pulls them apart, puts them together, stares, and asks me, "Which knee hurts the most?"
I answer, "Um... that would be the one that I injured."
He says, "Well, it appears that they are both broken."
I say, "Really? How interesting, since I only hit one of them. Are you suggesting that my other knee now has an immaculate 'sympathy' break?"

He stares blankly, and then sums up that I'm a smart-ass who knows nothing about medicine or procedures. I sum him up as a dumb-ass who doesn't know what a broken bone looks like, and so assumes that they are all broken. Stalemate we are in.

They put me in a leg immobilizer, along with crutches, to prevent me from bending the knee and "to not cause more damage." How interesting, since the immobilizer itself is now crushing down (with metal rods) on the very spot that is supposedly broken. How is that going to heal?

I wear it for three days as instructed. Upon the third day, my leg is totally black and blue, bruised. I stop wearing the immobilizer. My the next day, my leg swelling is considerably down, and no bruising. My knee pain has diminished greatly. The immobilizer itself apparently had caused more damage.

---

Follow up to the above story -

10 days later, I see an Orthopedic Specialist, who was scheduled for me by the original doc. I get a new set of X-rays - only 2 shots this time, correctly.

The OS doc looks at the X-ray and asks me, "Who told you your knee was broken?" I told him the referring physician. First, the OS doc has never heard of him. Second, he says, "The guy must be an idiot. There are no signs of any fracture ever having happened." No breaks. No fractures. No bone injuries at all. In fact, it was simply bursitis. Bruising. Made worse by metal rods being forced down on it for three days. The OS doc says, "Duh! You hit your knee. It swells. Simple medicine. That's how it happens. Then it gets better." We both agreed.

So this leaves me with a fear for other people who have to see an Urgent Care doc, and their late-night X-ray flunkies, who really don't know what they're looking at, but have to appear busy and informed. And that original X-ray tech - a few polite manners, and learning how to do her job properly would help.

So... now all is well. Just another adventure tale for me to pass on.

My New Pet - Nature's Little Killing Machine - A Venus Flytrap

Sunday, Nov. 30th. -
Cheech & Chong were downtown, performing for the first time in about 35 years. I wanted so badly to go, but I was too exhausted from work and lacking sleep. Instead, I went to the Grocery Outlet to see what goodies they had in store at the cheap grocery palace.

It was there that I found the item I had wanted for so long. Years I had thought about owning this, this interesting development of nature. And so I bought myself my latest pet - a Venus Flytrap.

Yes, nature's little killing machine. Long before Audrey II of "Little Shop Of Horrors," there were the Venus Flytraps.

These things are sturdy! They can only survive in the bare minimum of dirt - no fertilizer. Just water seems to do them fine. Lots of it. And humidity. But they are fascinating. These little leaves that lay open, inviting, with what could only be described as seductive eyelashes outlining them. And when the unsuspecting critter happens to enter between the leaves - snap! The bug is caught. Within the next 10 days, digestive juices take out all the liquid and nutrients, leaving a dried carcass behind.

For those of you who know me, it might seem appropriate that I would get such a morbid plant. The hints of vampirism. The evolutionary ideas of meat-eating plants taking over the earth. The ghoulish way in which it dispatches its prey. These are all fascinating visuals (to me, anyway). But honestly, in my adult days, that was not the appeal that got me to bring my new baby home. My reason is much "further from home."

The Venus Flytrap is native only to the humid, boggy areas of the Carolinas in the United States (North Carolina, more specifically). There are stories, not wholly verified, that these particular areas are ancient meteor impact sites. That may be true. But then comes the question if that makes the Venus Flytrap a possible extraterrestrial life-form. Maybe. Again, no confirmation. It is true that to this day, scientists still don't know what makes it able to move it's leaves, and so quickly. The other thought is that meteor impact sites generally leave a lot of minerals around, which the plant could use, along with the nitrogen-rich soil. Interesting either way.

So... back to my Sunday with my new pet...
I bring it to show my mom. You know, for giggles. She gives it a discerning look and appeared to rather not want to talk about it. I placed it on the kitchen table and proceed to explain how it requires bugs to suck the life out of them. At that point, after taking the lid off of the plastic container it came in, I told her that indeed it would be best to find a bug soon - as the plant can crawl out... "and it will find you!" This didn't sit too well with mom, who rather sternly recommended, "Put the lid back on! You put it on and keep it on! You make sure it stays on." HA! Oh, great fun indeed.

I now have told several friends about my new acquisition. One girl commented that she liked it because it rhymed with "penis." I then began thinking, it starts with a V, and the name Venus is in fact the Goddess of Love. V also begins "vagina." Hmmm... It in fact does have a subtle vaginal shape to it, with the sprouting hairs around it. And in fact, it does trap meat, and suck the life out of it. Well... now I'm getting a bit too visual, but you get the idea. Who knows what one was thinking when they named it. As far as Venus - it has nothing to do with either the planet, nor any Love Goddess. But it is a flytrap. Who knows.

In any case, it is now fodder for a new film script I am thinking of. I got the flytrap right after seeing the new National Geographic story about a moth that has evolved from eating plant nectar, to now sucking blood from animals (including people). This is in Siberia, and is a true story. So... nature evolves to "thin the herd" of mankind. Yes! Interesting, and necessary. Who needs 6.5 billion people on this small orb of a planet. It's time for nature to eat people, instead of people eating nature. But I digress into my usual sociopolitical nature. I'll save that for another blog.

I'm off to find some bugs.

It's Always Fun When I Cut My Throat

It's always something with me. I know that most of you might not have heard about my latest mishaps and adventures of the past week, so I thought I'd share. And yes, the title is true.

WEDS. OCT. 8th - sometime around 11 am.
I'm moving a dresser out of a house, on flat ground, with Gilbert going backwards. I had just come out of the door onto the cement walkway. Someone had thought it a good idea to have thoroughly soaked the new sod. I barely stepped off of the pathway, completely twisting my ankle as I swayed towards the grass. A split-second decision had to be made: 1) Drop everything, and smash the dresser into the cement walkway, or 2) pull and toss the dresser towards the grass in hopes of saving it, but muddying everything. I opted for 2.

Four people watching me, and no one can explain what happened next. A completely freak accident.

I swung the dresser to the right, thus putting all of its weight, combined with mine, completely onto my now twisted (and still twisting) ankle. Collapse time. Somehow, I ended up partially underneath it, but was able to yank it up, and roll out from under it WHILE setting it on its path down into the grass (safely, I might add). I did a strange roll out from under it, and pulled myself upright.

As I was getting up, Gilbert points at me and exclaims, "Now THAT'S a professional!"
As I straightened out, and as I was realizing something wrong, everyone just stared and said, "You need to check yourself out and get to a doctor."

Somehow, as I pulled the dresser, the sharp corner of the dresser caught my skin at the Adam's apple, as it continued upward, poking into my larynx (wind pipe) just under my jaw. As my head snapped back the other way (to follow it), the skin broke loose from the corner. thus cutting my throat. What I didn't realize until later is that it almost punctured my larynx. That would have ended everything rather quickly for me. I am damned lucky (well, luck isn't damning exactly, but you know).

So there I stood, checking my breathing but hearing no gurgling sounds. Good! Swallowing was another story. That hurt like a bitch. I thought about it for a minute and figured, if I can still breathe, I may as well finish the job at hand that I had begun - albeit in pain.

At the end of everything, a group assessment was made about what I should do. Everyone agreed I should be off to the doctors. However, I had no time for appointments, as I had to be in L.A. in the morning. I'd do the Urgent Care thing. At this point, a couple of comments were made -

Gilbert: "Dude, you're not going to be able to swallow for a few days."
Me: "Yes, BUT, that means I'll eat less and lose weight."

Gilbert: "That is going to leave a major mark."
Me: "Yes, BUT, chicks dig scars. It means I have a story to tell. I'll tell them it was a gang fight or a mugging."

(It's all about perceptions.)

So, by 9 pm that evening, I was seen by a doctor. I explained it all to him, along with my personal assessment. I said I was really only there to find out it it was going to be Motrin or surgery. I got lucky. It was Motrin.

The end result was that I have a contusion on my larynx, which seemed OK, but may be more serious, along with the cut across the throat (although not that big). It should have only lasted about 3 days. I'm going on a week now, so I'm going to get seen again, as there was also a possibility of a small fracture or tear in the front of the larynx. Otherwise, I was good to go.

THURS. OCT. 9th -
I'm off to L.A. by plane. Between waking up, and mid-flight, I discovered that the pain in the upper larynx had dissipated. But, the pain across the Adam's apple area was definitely increased. AND, apparently I had gotten minor whiplash from the incident. That's a first for me. I've never experienced that before, and not too thrilled with it. The ankle, throbbing like a ... well, yeah. Only it hurts. Anyway, off to L.A. I go, only to have to drive back later that day. I had to meet with a graphic designer client who works for ABC, and is moving out of a large, beautiful mansion in Pasadena. Somehow though, this meeting also includes meeting his handymen - a guy, with missing teeth and dirty t-shirt, sporting a total blaxploitation 'Fro with a Goodie comb stuck in it (straight out of a bad 70s film), and his partner, some cranked out stoner guy who hangs out at Home Depot for work. Nice diametric of people I meet within one hour.

FRI. OCT. 10th -
A relatively peaceful day, on the road, having a leisurely drive back. What a change.

SAT. OCT. 11th -
Me and a friend are up in Marin (Mill Valley, more correctly), sitting around waiting for someone. Around us are giant Eucalyptus trees. Within a relatively short while, we notice a large Turkey Vulture appear and sit above us. Soon after, another appears. About 10 minutes later, the first one swoops down to rest a bit closer. Roy and I begin discussing how vultures tend to only circle and approach prey that is either already, or soon to be dead (like in the film Westerns on the desert). So we ask each other if we want to flip a coin to see who it's going to be - me or him. We both decide it's not such a good idea. Above us, the vultures loom just a bit closer again, making us just a bit more wary. So we chase them off. But the thought behind it all still stuck for a while.

Anyway, it's now Tues, Oct. 14th, and I am still around, happy and (relatively) healthy.

As I think back, I've survived some major car accidents in the past (no injuries to me somehow), been hit in the head more than a could of times with hard objects (including an actual mugging), had a couple of surgeries, cancer (let's not forget that), other illnesses, and now the throat thing that really could have had a quick and bad ending. And yet, I have made it through.

When I was asked the other day, "Just how many of your lives have you used up already?", my answer is only that I am way beyond any cat. I've probably used up the first nine just in my childhood. Someone, somewhere, wants me here for a bigger and better reason than just to exist. Something to think about for anyone as we go through life and have experiences, or learn from the experiences of others.

Signing out,

Phil :)

The 10 Commandments Of Punk Guitar

Along with Greg Hetson of Bad Religion and Circle Jerks fame, Bad Religion guitarist Brian Baker compiled a list of 10 commandments of punk guitar. They are as follows:

1. Treat your guitar like shit and it will respect you.
2. To get that mean fuckin' low end and still retain some highs in your sound, use only Gibson guitars. SG's and Les Pauls are the ultimate punk rock tools.
3. Use only downstrokes. Downstrokes are the key to unlocking all punk rhythms.
4. Plaster your guitars with stickers to prove that you're an individual. Remember, being uncool is cool, so one Van Halen is worth three Sex Pistols stickers.
5. The Marshall JMP 100-Watt master volume head is the Holy Grail of amps. Other people get all hot and bothered about what kind of speakers and cabinets they use, but that's all bullshit. You can plug the JMP into virtually anything and it's going to sound wonderful.
6. No open tunings. Grunge is not punk rock.
7. Don't be self-indulgent. Limit your guitar solos to eight bars or less. Otherwise, you're playing metal.
8. Never, ever play a show with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. It's incredibly painful when a stage diver pushes off your face and smashes the red-hot cherry into your cheek.
9. It may be punk to be fucked up at your day job, but when you take the stage you should be straight. It's hard to play music with intensity and speed when you're drunk.
10. Do not stack Marshall cabinets. That's not punk, it's arena rock. The Ramones are the only band exempted from this rule.

"Hard" To Sleep - My Latest Medical Issue

There are those of you who occasionally ask me how I am doing and if I am healthy. Usually the answer is that I'm doing good. Now I have something a bit disturbing, yet amusing to share.

(Read on, as I know some of you are taking the drug that I am talking about here.)

As most of you know, I have APL Leukemia. Good enough. I beat it in 30 days back in 2005, and have been on maintenance chemo ever since - but ending that finally by this March.

Many of you who know me better also know that I have some odd habits, primarily being a vampire by staying up all hours of the night. My reasons - no one bugs me (usually) at night, and I can focus more on whatever work I'm doing. Fine enough, except it's getting hard for me to go back to any semblance of a "normal" life - the kind where one gets up in the morning and experiences most of the daytime world. (If only I drank blood, this would have a happier ending.)

So, now to my dilemma...
Due to the above habits, it has been almost impossible for me to even be tired at any time before 7 am. I'm tired of being that way and wanted some help to get back to normal. My doctor suggested some sleep aids. As I have acid reflux, she did not recommend any actual sleeping pills, but more along the line of "sleep aids." This includes such drugs as Ambien.

In my case, she gave me Trazodone. Apparently this is the drug of choice to offer when helping someone get drowsy. It is non-addictive and does the trick. What it used to be was strictly an anti-depressant. However, how it actually worked, still no one knows. Should that bother me? Perhaps. It's nasty (at the time) side effect was that it would knock people out with drowsiness. So these days, it's promoted as a sleep aid, with anti-depression qualities. However, again, no one seems to know how the mechanism works in affecting people.

And now on to the kicker...
I looked up potential problems associated with this drug. Bingo! There is a problem, that many men could consider a blessing.

It turns out that Trazodone has been associated with episodes of Priapism. Sure, you probably haven't heard of it. Let me say it more simply - Eternal Hard-On! And it's considered a "medical emergency." Funny, I never heard a woman say "problem" or "emergency" towards any man who kept an erection for more than, say a few minutes, if an hour. But it's true. In fact, on one site it states, "If the condition persists for more than 24 hours, it would be advisable... [for a specialist] to decide on a management approach." and mentions requiring "surgical intervention" that could cause permanent dysfunction. What?!?! On top of that is a possibility of cardiac problems. Well sure, considering how an erection is formed and works, that makes sense. All the blood goes to pump and prime "La Machine," and all that excitement can cause a ticker to pop.

One more thing to add... Priapism is also associated with such illnesses as... yes, Leukemia (which I have). That's two potential strikes against me - giving me the whacked-out hard-on from hell. Sure, I could be a woman's dream date - but only for one (very long) night (and day, and next night), before the fun ends.

I promise you that - regardless of age - I am nowhere near requiring Viagra, but it was funny to think that the same results could happen. However, unless I'm planning a sleepover with a harem, and it's my last day on Earth, I think I'll forgo this particular pill and stick with my tried and true Kava Kava and Chamomile teas for sleep-inducing. They work, just not as fast, nor dangerously.

Oh, and lastly, an ironic amusement for me is... Why do most ANTI-depressants cause suicidal tendencies? Aren't they supposed to prevent those? Hmmm... kill the patient, I guess. Blame society and parents later.

If anyone wants more info about the drug that'll give you a boner all throughout the night (while you sleep through it), or the syndrome itself, check out these links -

Trazodone -
http://www.mentalhealth.com/drug/p30-d03.html

Priapism -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

Ending 2007: Broken, yet blessed :)

So it's been an interesting year. Well, for those of you keeping up, it's been an interesting last couple of years for me - and for those who really know me... it's pretty much, business as usual with having a full life.

Here's the update:
1) Good news/"eh" OK news about Leukemia - I'm almost done with chemo. Woo hoo! Damn, too, as I am pretty used to it... and I like it!! (No joke, the hair is thicker and skin is smoother. No complaints.). I'm finished with all the maintenance treatments in February. That's all good, except that I've taken it for granted as keeping me above ground. After that, it's 3 more years of "wait and see" and hope nothing comes back. I'm out of the situation that put me in this mess, so I figure I should be good to go and use the word "cured" soon enough. That is the power of faith in one's self, I tell ya. Although some of you won't "get it," even if I do still face "check out time" in the near future, I still got at least 2 years' worth to find my old friends, meet several new very cool friends, and got a lot done. But I think I'll be around for quite some time.

2) I've had the fun year of injuries, especially right towards the end. So... recount - the mystery knee ailment, the broken toe and damaged foot, and the crushed fingers, including one broken one. I was told to keep it wrapped up for 6 weeks. Of course I, never one to be told "No," have already started practicing guitar again after just about 2 weeks. A bit painful, but my fingers needed a stretch.

One might think that this would be a good time to switch jobs... well, I got to end on a good note...
3) I had one more job left, yes with injuries in tow. This client was moving out of country and needed to get rid of everything (most everything went to donation, and a few things to us). My co-worker really needed a car, and as it turned out, our client needed to get rid of his - so I got him to give him his '99 Mustang. No joke. I myself got a few goodies that I had been hoping for, but were a bit frivolous. And with that, got my mom a nice present for Christmas too. All in all, a good time to cut and run, and start a new year fresh. Going back to doing photography and film, along with more writings. And hopefully a book or two by the end of next year.

I hope that everyone has a great and Happy New Year 2008, as I'm mine seems to be starting good.

The month of breaking bones... I must love pain

It's the end of year, and my body must be looking for something brilliant to do as a send-off to 2007.

Having Leukemia apparently isn't enough. I'm not suffering with it, I like the chemo... so what to do? Apparently, accidents are the answer. Yes, the ability for me to find new and interesting ways in which to crack bones in half - my bones - that will be the new hobby.

In this month, I have now obtained some odd knee problem (not a break, but that's not a good sign either), a broken foot, and two broken fingers (which I am using to type right now).

Yeah... the foot, I decided to cram my bare foot into a wall, big feet that I have (size 15, girls take note... HA!!), resulting in re-cracking open a break I did last month, which adds to my collectors' set of when I first totally crushed my pinky toe bones almost off in 1995.

Then an electric garage door wouldn't work, so we released the cable and I was guiding it down. It was slatted, not flat. So of course, I get two fingers caught between. I hear the crunching sounds, and continue to stare in disbelief as the door goes down. More crunching and then, "Crap! I should stop now and get them out." Hmmm...

The fingers are the forefinger and pinky. Yes, I make Devil Horns at everyone right now, as I barely touch anything (except for typing, because... I like pain, and proper writing).

So now I'm a limping, Devil-Horn waving, gimp for the next couple of weeks or so. Yay! I'm hoping that this nasty new habit/hobby of mine ends soon, as I've got better things to do in the New Year. Ah well.

Anyway... just sharing my tales of bizarre living. Kids - don't try this at home.

Phillippe..... :)

I lost a friend to cancer yesterday - R.I.P. Kelly Johnson (of Girlschool)

Although many of you might not know who I'm talking about - unless you were into the band Girlschool back in the early 1980s - I just felt the need to share some thoughts here. It's one of those things that one needs to get out and share with friends - and may in turn help someone else along the way.

I just heard the news that former Girlschool guitarist Kelly Johnson passed away on Sunday, July 15, 2007. She had been suffering bravely with spinal cancer for the past six years - and it finally won. I hadn't seen her in person for 24 years, but still this hit me particularly hard.

I first met Girlschool at the Keystone Palo Alto in early 1983 (although I had seen them before). We chatted up backstage for quite a while, doing an interview for a magazine I worked for at the time - Steel Meel. As it was, I had a huge crush on guitarist Kelly Johnson - and what guy didn't at the time, with her smile and late 1970s Farrah Fawcett hair-do, not to mention that this chick played guitar. To top it off, she was very sweet, and very charming.

At the end of the interview, as I was having the band sign autographs on some of the photos I had taken of them previously, I half-jokingly expressed a somewhat childish desire to go on a date with Kelly. I told her, of course I realized that I lived in the S.F. Bay Area, and she in England (over the big pond), but I had traveled to Europe before, and would do so again.

She smiled and laughed, signed my photo, and handed it back to me. She then said, "Sure, that would be great. We should go out sometime." My heart jumped, although my own cerebral dose of reality said to me, "Don't be stupid. She's a major rock star, in England no doubt, and you are just a guy with a camera barely surviving in California. No matter, I thought. She had agreed and smiled at me, and that was good enough for me. Even if it was just for an ego boost to a fan, she had made my day.

Kelly eventually left the band a year later, and eventually moved to Los Angeles - much closer to me. Unfortunately, I didn't know that until a few years after that, when she had moved back to England. Somehow, I was always a few yards behind her, so to speak.

Eventually I started KAOS2000 Magazine and started doing interviews with celebrities and such. After chatting with the guitarist in Venom, I got an email and a call from former Venom bassist Tony Dolan - who himself had just starred in "Master And Commander" with Russell Crowe. As Tony and I talked, somehow the subject of Girlschool came up, and of course I had to mention Kelly - her being that unobtainable love interest of fantasy to me.

This was around 2004. Tony then told me the news, how he knew Kelly's good friend, and had heard about Kelly's fight with cancer. She wasn't doing very well, I was told, although she was tough enough to have better days along with the worse. I was stunned. I had to get to England immediately. I had always wanted to see her and chat with her again.

I told Tony the story of how we had met and I had asked her out, and how I always remembered her. He laughed and said that he would pass my message along to her.

Around that time, I had gone through my old photos and found my pics of Girlschool and I backstage in 1983. I took one of the photos out of the album and it flipped over. I had never seen the back of this photo. Written on the back was a note with "Kelly" with her phone number. She hadn't just signed my photos, she had taken me seriously and given me her number. What an idiot I had been for never looking on the other side. It was 21 years later now - and she was very sick.

Tony called me back a few days later and had a message for me. Kelly had remembered me from 1983. She smiled when she was told the story, and from what I was told, the story had made her day. She was surprised and happy that I had still remembered her from those shows and still thought of her. Tony said that it might be possible for me to talk with her on the phone, or maybe see her, if she gets a bit better, and that she would be happy to do so.

Before I could make any plans as such - I got to join Kelly in her problems, as I got cancer myself. Leukemia put me in the hospital, and I couldn't do anything for a while, let alone make plans to travel out of the country. So I would wait it out, if she could. During the last year and a half, I had so looked forward to going to England to visit her, or at least get to chat with her on the phone. I didn't know how things were progressing with her.

Then yesterday night, my friend Rytchie called me to bear the news - Kelly Johnson had died earlier in the day. The cancer had taken its toll and she couldn't hang on any longer. And now, I have the most awful empty feeling. Most of my want to go to Europe just faded. I won't get that chance to say Hello or wish her well. And we won't get a chance to laugh about the photos or meeting during the heavy metal heydays. At least I have some friends out there whom I can share this with, and through this, they can now know who she was. Memory is immortality.

After losing some friends and family myself, and with the world in ever-chaos and turmoil on a daily basis, I had become almost immune to death. I've even come to praise it in certain ways. Even with my own illnesses, I definitely haven't cried over much in many years. But - I did shed a tear last night. I didn't really know her, short of a couple of days hanging out two decades ago, but it was just that bond that people (especially musicians) can form when meeting even just once - that can last a lifetime. But yesterday, someone's lifetime ended.

The moral of the story is - we go to visit sick family and friends, and we feel for them, and for ourselves. But sometimes we forget the friends we may have left behind - by accident, or just changes in life, or whatnot. It's good to go back and rekindle. It's better to do it when you think of it - not after it becomes an afterthought of "I wish I could have seen him or her one last time." We all have lives to live and have moved on, but looking back and saying Hello to someone who might need it at the right time is just as important.

Alcoholic Eddie Van Halen Can't Make His Award, Nor His Tour

I've brought this up before, but Van Halen - the band as a whole, let alone individual members - has become a joke long ago. I can't figure out why anyone even expects anything of value from this supposed reunion tour. Personally, I've seen better class and enthusiasm from bands touring the fairground circuit (no joke there).

As it is, now Eddie is pissed off at original bassist Michael Anthony (the high vocalist guy who gave Van Halen their unique harmonies). Thus, Eddie just said, "Michael can do whatever he wants." (so long as it doesn't involve touring with Van Halen). The Brothers VH are mad that Michael Anthony chose not to waste his talents. Is that a proper reunion? Eddie seems to have a tizzy-fit anytime something good can happen for the band. He doesn't need just rehab, he needs a mental care facility and a full-time therapist. Thanks a lot Eddie, for making a mockery of everything that your band made cool about rock music, and for destroying your own integrity and the faith of millions of fans.

Anyway, read the story on the following link (after reading this through) -
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=14277


Take good notice of the photo of the homeless looking bum. Oh wait, that's Eddie from less than one year ago. YIKES!!! He's only 50 years old. What the hell?? He makes Rolling Stone Keith Richards (who is in his mid-60s) look rather dashing and sexy. Seriously. And think about this - Keith is a very professional drinker, and drug abuser. For all of his embalming, Keef is still standing upright, drinking and smoking, falling out of coconut trees and splitting his head open, only to continue touring with the Stones and making millions yearly.

And Eddie? Two bouts with tongue cancer ("Hey dipshit! Quit smoking, dumbass!"), had his wife Valerie leave him, had two of his singers tell him to piss off, and then continues the alcohol as just one more excuse to further fuck up his career and integrity. The guy loves to collect nails for his coffin. Brother Alex continues to stand by his side, ever protective (Why??).

AND... Van Halen, the band, collectively couldn't even show up to their Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame induction this last Monday, March 12, 2007. Michael and Sammy did. Yeah, great time to take a rehab stint. Nice excuse for your dwindling fan base to feel sorry for you, Eddie. You could have brought your bodyguard Alex and kept your hands off of the damned booze.

Sad, sad, sad. ("'Scuze me. Anyone got some change for a guitar string?") Have you ever seen a human being decompose before death? See the photo. Personally, I don't think rehab's going to do it.

~~ Philip - the ever cynical, but usually correct :)


By the way, for those of you who didn't know - Eddie's last job was doing two songs for a porn film. No joke. I had to laugh when a radio DJ said, "Now THAT defines Loser Has-Been rocker." Damn!

Bananas - The Amazing Food (You Learn Something New Every Day)

Everything You've Every Wanted To Know About Bananas... And More!

Bananas containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills -- eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration have just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

Now go... go out and buy some bananas!

Some great Craig "Late Late Show" Ferguson lines about Halloween

"TV's" Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show was on a roll about Halloween last night on TV.
He had a couple of good points in his jokes.

1) "I don't get Halloween at all. You scare people... and then demand things from them. That's... extortion!"

2) "We don't really 'do' Halloween where I come from. I'm from Scotland. We have all the ghosts and haunted castles, so for us it's no big deal. We thought "The Addams Family" was a documentary."

3) Craig was talking about going to the Playboy Mansion for a Halloween party, and all he had for a "costume" was his actual kilt. So he wore it and everyone thought "What a great costume."
One girl came up and asked him, "What do you have undearneath?"
Craig responded, "On a good day... lipstick."

Having cancer sucks....

I had recently mentioned in my previous blog that I had gone to San Diego Comic Con, and gotten sick there. Well, I'm here to tell you finally what really happened...

I started with a sore throat when I got to San Diego. What I didn't know was that this was the beginning signs of something more drastic than simply strep throat or pharyngitis (which I had been diagnosed as having).

On Fri., July 29, I had gone to my doctor's for another visit, and a random blood test. I had been hoping to fly to Los Angeles the next day and then come back that night. Friday afternoon, I got a very distressed phone call from my doctor begging me to not get on the airplane in the morning or, I would "not come home, ever". How true that could have been. I was checked into the hospital immediately that Fri. evening and felt myself physically sinking lower. It turned out that I had almost NO white blood cells, NO platelets (that help your blood clot), and was getting anemic And my blood count was dropping by the hour. Literally, I was dying as I stood.

For three days, no one could figure out what was wrong with me. They kept me pumped with antibiotics and transfusions. On Saturday morning, I seriously did not think I would make it through the following Monday. They were worried about my getting a fever, infection, or starting to bleed out. Well, as it happened, I did get a slight fever, and my nose started bleeding for over two days. As I write this, it has slowed down. I was a bit scared, to put it honestly. But worse, I had a few very close friends who were even more traumatized by what they heard. No one could believe that someone like myself, Mr. Get-Up-And-Go, who lived active and overworked, could ever get so sick, and so suddenly.

They took a bone marrow biopsy (no fun stroll in the park, I tell you), and finally found out what happened to me by this Monday, Aug. 1. It turned out that I had Leukemia. But they were not sure what type yet. I was given a 75% chance of recovery - meaning that it could recur, or cause other cancers later. On Tues. Aug. 2, they had it figured out. I have a subset of AML Leukemia called Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia.

Now, here's where the clincher, and the fun part begins. Of course, I would now have a new chapter to my life's adventures. It turns out that I have a form of Leukemia that (as my doctor told me) "If you had to have any form of Leukemia, this would be the one you want to have." It is a very rare type, and happens to be the easiest to treat. AND... has a 90% cure rate (meaning, no coming back). Also, it is not inherited, so I can still have kids later with no fear of transmission... provided I make it through.

They are trying to control my bleeding currently, and I am already being treated. Another strange portion of the story... instead of bombarding me with two or more major forms of chemotherapy, it is treated with ONE chemo drug cocktail (a rather milder form) for eight days, and... a derivative of Vitamin A. Still a cocktail, but not nearly as bad. I may or may not still lose my hair, but whatever.

So here I sit in the hospital for the next four weeks hoping that it all works and my recovery is healthy. I have a pretty good mindset that it will all work out. I've got way too much to do out there to call it quits yet.

I just wanted to let everyone know what's been going on with me. And to those of you who got my rather cryptic emails about going to the hospital, I am not dead yet, but only had some scares along the way in the past few days. Now I am chipper, upbeat, and ready to have my ass kicked a bit so that I can kick ass back and get this beat, and get back out there with everyone.

Wish me luck and I appreciate all the well-wishing's, prayers, and thoughts.

See you soon!

PS... I will be checking my emails as well so that I don't just sit around bored.
(For more on what happens, check my other blog - Leuk I Am Your Cancer

San Diego Comic Con adventures - 2005

Some of you might have wondered if I'd disappeared.
Indeed, to some (most) I may have, but for a short while only.

I had gone to the San Diego Comic Con International for about a week. And what did I get upon my return? Ill. Nice.

What was once a comic book geek-fest, is now the world's largest comic / film / literary / fine arts / pop-culture convention. I've been attending it for 15 years now, and just gets bigger and better. What makes this trip more worthwhile is the group of people I go with.

This year was a good batch of friends for sure. Some are even on MySpace. Of course, when you get any number of people crammed into a hotel room - to keep costs lower - you find out quickly about everyone's quirks, habits, and opinions. But, that's what keeps it all interesting.

What was I doing there? Different things, mostly networking. I went down with a couple of friends, and several models to help promote a T-shirt company named Dirty Little Tees. The girls dressed up in the hottie-wear and walked around the (almost 1/8 mile long) convention center filled with what seemed to be around 150,000 people, getting everyone to come to the booth and spend money.

Why girls? Simple. Never underestimate the financial power of a horny 14-year-old boy with allowance money in his pocket... especially when a pretty girl smiles at him.

The booth aside, we all networked with several companies, artists, and film-makers for future possible jobs. I apparently had earned a friendly reputation with the catch-phrase "Hey folks, it's that guy with all the girls! Give him a big hand and follow him around." Well, I could think of worse things said in passing.

The convention itself was fun, albeit a bit mellower than usual.

So... the Good News / Bad News portion of my trip...

Positives -
* Stayed at Embassy Suites - 2 room suites with all the amenities (kitchenette, fridge, microwave, 3 beds, and more). Free breakfasts cooked to order, and all the booze you can drink (FREE!) during a 2-hour happy hour.
* Staying in a suite with a couple of friends, and a variety of models. Yeah, don't that suck. HA HA!! OK, granted, most had serious boyfriends... but a guy can embellish on the settings, can't he?
* Meeting more celebs and fantastically creative, artistic, and ambitious people in one area than one could imagine.
* Getting paid to be there. (Always nice, even if it wasn't much.)

Negatives -
* Apparently I got sick with a sore throat from the second day I got there. I also don't usually sleep much, and even less during this trip... so the equivalence was almost 4 days with no sleep, on a potential illness brewing.
* Hearing flapping noises from the front tire on the way home (with a 500 mile drive coming up) - luckily only one mile away from home. Finding out that my front tire was about to blow. Took that bad boy off immediately.
* Adventure-Man Phil, puts on the donut spare tire and drives back almost 500 miles. But wait... this is the second time that I have driven that distance on the same donut tire (this happened 2 years ago also). AND I was doing about 70 - 80 mph (yeah, yeah, I'm a bit nuts).
* Upon getting home, and feeling like absolute crap, finding out that I have pharyngitis and possible strep throat (and somehow no one else got sick). So, I've been back for a few days, feeling like crap, wishing I would feel better so that I can go through my bags of new stuff, and contact information.

Alrighty... there was the extended version of my last couple of weeks. Stay tuned for more tales later.

Well here's a good "Howdy Do" to me in the morning...

This is a Yahoo message that I got this morning from a known MySpacer friend of mine.

xte****:
Good Morning Sunshineeeeeeeeeeee lol
dammit, i stepped in cat shit! lol

That was the entire message.

Always good information to share with someone.
It certainly inspired me to have a wonderful and productive day.
On the other hand... I wish that I had slept more than two hours.
I'm tired and bitchy... but, amused none the less.