"Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures Of All Time"
Here is something that is sure to put a smile on your face. These are two webpages dedicated to the stupidest "Black Metal" band outfits / make-up.
I have to say that these two webpages are a cure for constipation. I about crapped myself a few times, laughing so hard at the sheer stupidity of everything on here.
Don't just look at the photos, read the commentaries. There are two especially funny comments on the first page -
Band ..2 - "What's with the shin guards? Since when does Satan have a hockey team?",
and also Band ..1 - "It looks like he punched a fucking procupine."
Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures -
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/1054/page/top____most_ridiculous_black_metal_pics_of_all_time.html
The Other Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pictures -
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/976/page/_the_other__top____most_ridiculous_black_metal_pics_of_all_time.html
Enjoy!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Rules For Bands (taken from "Summer Of The Living Dead" site)
(The following was taken from a webpage called "Summer Of The Living Dead" which takes about the problems inherent in our musical culture today. It was actually written in 1995, but still seems to hold. The writer was a bit out there and wordy, but the ending - which is what I have reprinted - is rather amusing.)
The following set of rules for bands should be instituted worldwide as ironclad law (with stiff prison terms for violations and, in extreme cases, summary execution), through international plebiscite or, if necessary, an armed campaign of subjugation.
1) You may not record a new album simply to have some new product to promote so you can tour, then never play any of the songs.
2) You may not make a big deal of band members' newfound clean-and- soberness when drugs and alcohol were all that ever made your music listenable.
3) If you are a peace-and-love style folkie who has been revealed as a secret wife-beater, you are banned from touring and recording for life (this is the James Taylor rule).
4) If you ever recorded a song with references to Eastern religion, you may not accept more than $10 and a bowl of rice for any performance.
5) You may not advertise that your band contains "all original members" and proceed to list them if no one knew your names in the first place.
6) You may not reunite if your band has a three-letter name beginning with Y and ending with S.
7) You may not replace dead members of your reunited band with their children. (Julian Lennon, take note: you come near any of the Beatles and we're letting Mark Chapman out and giving him a howitzer.)
8) You may not use the name "'X' Brothers Band" for a band which no longer contains more than one brother (this is the Allman Brothers rule).
9) Backup bands of deceased star "Y" may not bill themselves as "The "Y" Band."
10) Only one farewell tour per band. We don't think that's too much to ask for. If we all work together we can lick this thing.
And remember, your mind is a room that you have to live in. Don't fill it up with crap.
Summer Of The Living Dead
http://ezone.org/ez/e4/articles/jones/summer.html
The following set of rules for bands should be instituted worldwide as ironclad law (with stiff prison terms for violations and, in extreme cases, summary execution), through international plebiscite or, if necessary, an armed campaign of subjugation.
1) You may not record a new album simply to have some new product to promote so you can tour, then never play any of the songs.
2) You may not make a big deal of band members' newfound clean-and- soberness when drugs and alcohol were all that ever made your music listenable.
3) If you are a peace-and-love style folkie who has been revealed as a secret wife-beater, you are banned from touring and recording for life (this is the James Taylor rule).
4) If you ever recorded a song with references to Eastern religion, you may not accept more than $10 and a bowl of rice for any performance.
5) You may not advertise that your band contains "all original members" and proceed to list them if no one knew your names in the first place.
6) You may not reunite if your band has a three-letter name beginning with Y and ending with S.
7) You may not replace dead members of your reunited band with their children. (Julian Lennon, take note: you come near any of the Beatles and we're letting Mark Chapman out and giving him a howitzer.)
8) You may not use the name "'X' Brothers Band" for a band which no longer contains more than one brother (this is the Allman Brothers rule).
9) Backup bands of deceased star "Y" may not bill themselves as "The "Y" Band."
10) Only one farewell tour per band. We don't think that's too much to ask for. If we all work together we can lick this thing.
And remember, your mind is a room that you have to live in. Don't fill it up with crap.
Summer Of The Living Dead
http://ezone.org/ez/e4/articles/jones/summer.html
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sony's New "Must Have" Product
The new Sony “Stupid Piece Of Shit”
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of
Yet another "must have" product from the fine people at Sony (as brought to you by The Onion)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of
Yet another "must have" product from the fine people at Sony (as brought to you by The Onion)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year 2009
It's finally here! No, not the phone books... 2009!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
This year I opted to stay home and watch the festivities on TV... while being safe, cozy, and warm. No chances of any trouble.
As is my custom around the Holidays, and while waiting for midnight to appear, I was watching TV. Watching the news more specifically.
While spreading my New Year's good tidings and cheer to everyone in my phone address book, I realized what I was watching on the news - the biggest fireworks show in town. Jews and Palestinians blowing the shit out of each other. Oh happy day. Give it a break. Religion and real estate can both kill ya. Ugh! Then a few other gruesome stories about Holiday unfestivities. Good grief!
It was my friend who actually suggested the idea of the big Middle East fireworks show.
All I could think of was God Bless America (or anywhere else but there). I was lucky to be in a warm home, with electricity to run my TV, and had money to buy things such as Sparkling Cider, while enjoying the Holidays.
We take a lot for granted in the free world. I mentioned the above to give you all a moment to reflect and respect what it is that you, we, all have. No matter how small or how much, at least we have something, or someone.
So in the new year, take a few moments in the day to acknowledge the things around you, so that you can better appreciate the things that make you happy.
But most of all... make yourselves a great 2009!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
This year I opted to stay home and watch the festivities on TV... while being safe, cozy, and warm. No chances of any trouble.
As is my custom around the Holidays, and while waiting for midnight to appear, I was watching TV. Watching the news more specifically.
While spreading my New Year's good tidings and cheer to everyone in my phone address book, I realized what I was watching on the news - the biggest fireworks show in town. Jews and Palestinians blowing the shit out of each other. Oh happy day. Give it a break. Religion and real estate can both kill ya. Ugh! Then a few other gruesome stories about Holiday unfestivities. Good grief!
It was my friend who actually suggested the idea of the big Middle East fireworks show.
All I could think of was God Bless America (or anywhere else but there). I was lucky to be in a warm home, with electricity to run my TV, and had money to buy things such as Sparkling Cider, while enjoying the Holidays.
We take a lot for granted in the free world. I mentioned the above to give you all a moment to reflect and respect what it is that you, we, all have. No matter how small or how much, at least we have something, or someone.
So in the new year, take a few moments in the day to acknowledge the things around you, so that you can better appreciate the things that make you happy.
But most of all... make yourselves a great 2009!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
What I Got For Christmas - Broken, Again!
I had to share this tale of my recent misadventure.
Two weeks before Christmas and I'm out working late in a neighborhood whose street light had apparently gone out. While crossing the street, I knew there was a curb ahead, but couldn't quite figure out where. Slowing down and paying attention might have been a good idea at this point.
Just then... left foot meets curb, and a moment later... right knee meets cement pavement. Nice. Snap, crackle, pop.
I feel around it, all seems OK. I walk to, and into the front door of the home. I look at it indoors. No apparent swelling (yet), so back to work I go. By the time I got home though, my knee was swollen to something the size of a canteloupe. Great. Damage apparently done after all.
Let's keep in mind that last year, I sweetly crushed my entire left hand fingers in a broken, slatted garage door, resulting in some breaks. I thought, let's top that off this year with a new injury.
The next day, off to the Urgent Care I go. The first doc looks at my knee and simply "ooh's and aah's" for a few moments. He requests an X-ray. The X-ray tech woman, of East Indian descent (not necessarily a major issue of the story, other than a slightly cultural attitude towards me, and somewhat argumentive), takes between 6 to 8 different view shots. This strikes me odd, and makes me question her credentials. A knee X-ray for this type of injury usually is 2 shots. I should know, I've done this before plenty. She then proceeds to shoot X-rays of my other knee as well. I can tell you that this lady did not like to be second-guessed, nor her work commented upon.
I go back to the first doc. He calls in a consulting doc. They concur that I "must have" a fractured knee. BUT, "it may just be ghosting," although neither was too sure.
The consulting doc feels around both knees, pulls them apart, puts them together, stares, and asks me, "Which knee hurts the most?"
I answer, "Um... that would be the one that I injured."
He says, "Well, it appears that they are both broken."
I say, "Really? How interesting, since I only hit one of them. Are you suggesting that my other knee now has an immaculate 'sympathy' break?"
He stares blankly, and then sums up that I'm a smart-ass who knows nothing about medicine or procedures. I sum him up as a dumb-ass who doesn't know what a broken bone looks like, and so assumes that they are all broken. Stalemate we are in.
They put me in a leg immobilizer, along with crutches, to prevent me from bending the knee and "to not cause more damage." How interesting, since the immobilizer itself is now crushing down (with metal rods) on the very spot that is supposedly broken. How is that going to heal?
I wear it for three days as instructed. Upon the third day, my leg is totally black and blue, bruised. I stop wearing the immobilizer. My the next day, my leg swelling is considerably down, and no bruising. My knee pain has diminished greatly. The immobilizer itself apparently had caused more damage.
Follow up to the above story -
10 days later, I see an Orthopedic Specialist, who was scheduled for me by the original doc. I get a new set of X-rays - only 2 shots this time, correctly.
The OS doc looks at the X-ray and asks me, "Who told you your knee was broken?" I told him the referring physician. First, the OS doc has never heard of him. Second, he says, "The guy must be an idiot. There are no signs of any fracture ever having happened." No breaks. No fractures. No bone injuries at all. In fact, it was simply bursitis. Bruising. Made worse by metal rods being forced down on it for three days. The OS doc says, "Duh! You hit your knee. It swells. Simple medicine. That's how it happens. Then it gets better." We both agreed.
So this leaves me with a fear for other people who have to see an Urgent Care doc, and their late-night X-ray flunkies, who really don't know what they're looking at, but have to appear busy and informed. And that original X-ray tech - a few polite manners, and learning how to do her job properly would help.
So... now all is well. Just another adventure tale for me to pass on.
Two weeks before Christmas and I'm out working late in a neighborhood whose street light had apparently gone out. While crossing the street, I knew there was a curb ahead, but couldn't quite figure out where. Slowing down and paying attention might have been a good idea at this point.
Just then... left foot meets curb, and a moment later... right knee meets cement pavement. Nice. Snap, crackle, pop.
I feel around it, all seems OK. I walk to, and into the front door of the home. I look at it indoors. No apparent swelling (yet), so back to work I go. By the time I got home though, my knee was swollen to something the size of a canteloupe. Great. Damage apparently done after all.
Let's keep in mind that last year, I sweetly crushed my entire left hand fingers in a broken, slatted garage door, resulting in some breaks. I thought, let's top that off this year with a new injury.
The next day, off to the Urgent Care I go. The first doc looks at my knee and simply "ooh's and aah's" for a few moments. He requests an X-ray. The X-ray tech woman, of East Indian descent (not necessarily a major issue of the story, other than a slightly cultural attitude towards me, and somewhat argumentive), takes between 6 to 8 different view shots. This strikes me odd, and makes me question her credentials. A knee X-ray for this type of injury usually is 2 shots. I should know, I've done this before plenty. She then proceeds to shoot X-rays of my other knee as well. I can tell you that this lady did not like to be second-guessed, nor her work commented upon.
I go back to the first doc. He calls in a consulting doc. They concur that I "must have" a fractured knee. BUT, "it may just be ghosting," although neither was too sure.
The consulting doc feels around both knees, pulls them apart, puts them together, stares, and asks me, "Which knee hurts the most?"
I answer, "Um... that would be the one that I injured."
He says, "Well, it appears that they are both broken."
I say, "Really? How interesting, since I only hit one of them. Are you suggesting that my other knee now has an immaculate 'sympathy' break?"
He stares blankly, and then sums up that I'm a smart-ass who knows nothing about medicine or procedures. I sum him up as a dumb-ass who doesn't know what a broken bone looks like, and so assumes that they are all broken. Stalemate we are in.
They put me in a leg immobilizer, along with crutches, to prevent me from bending the knee and "to not cause more damage." How interesting, since the immobilizer itself is now crushing down (with metal rods) on the very spot that is supposedly broken. How is that going to heal?
I wear it for three days as instructed. Upon the third day, my leg is totally black and blue, bruised. I stop wearing the immobilizer. My the next day, my leg swelling is considerably down, and no bruising. My knee pain has diminished greatly. The immobilizer itself apparently had caused more damage.
Follow up to the above story -
10 days later, I see an Orthopedic Specialist, who was scheduled for me by the original doc. I get a new set of X-rays - only 2 shots this time, correctly.
The OS doc looks at the X-ray and asks me, "Who told you your knee was broken?" I told him the referring physician. First, the OS doc has never heard of him. Second, he says, "The guy must be an idiot. There are no signs of any fracture ever having happened." No breaks. No fractures. No bone injuries at all. In fact, it was simply bursitis. Bruising. Made worse by metal rods being forced down on it for three days. The OS doc says, "Duh! You hit your knee. It swells. Simple medicine. That's how it happens. Then it gets better." We both agreed.
So this leaves me with a fear for other people who have to see an Urgent Care doc, and their late-night X-ray flunkies, who really don't know what they're looking at, but have to appear busy and informed. And that original X-ray tech - a few polite manners, and learning how to do her job properly would help.
So... now all is well. Just another adventure tale for me to pass on.
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