My New Pet - Nature's Little Killing Machine - A Venus Flytrap

Sunday, Nov. 30th. -
Cheech & Chong were downtown, performing for the first time in about 35 years. I wanted so badly to go, but I was too exhausted from work and lacking sleep. Instead, I went to the Grocery Outlet to see what goodies they had in store at the cheap grocery palace.

It was there that I found the item I had wanted for so long. Years I had thought about owning this, this interesting development of nature. And so I bought myself my latest pet - a Venus Flytrap.

Yes, nature's little killing machine. Long before Audrey II of "Little Shop Of Horrors," there were the Venus Flytraps.

These things are sturdy! They can only survive in the bare minimum of dirt - no fertilizer. Just water seems to do them fine. Lots of it. And humidity. But they are fascinating. These little leaves that lay open, inviting, with what could only be described as seductive eyelashes outlining them. And when the unsuspecting critter happens to enter between the leaves - snap! The bug is caught. Within the next 10 days, digestive juices take out all the liquid and nutrients, leaving a dried carcass behind.

For those of you who know me, it might seem appropriate that I would get such a morbid plant. The hints of vampirism. The evolutionary ideas of meat-eating plants taking over the earth. The ghoulish way in which it dispatches its prey. These are all fascinating visuals (to me, anyway). But honestly, in my adult days, that was not the appeal that got me to bring my new baby home. My reason is much "further from home."

The Venus Flytrap is native only to the humid, boggy areas of the Carolinas in the United States (North Carolina, more specifically). There are stories, not wholly verified, that these particular areas are ancient meteor impact sites. That may be true. But then comes the question if that makes the Venus Flytrap a possible extraterrestrial life-form. Maybe. Again, no confirmation. It is true that to this day, scientists still don't know what makes it able to move it's leaves, and so quickly. The other thought is that meteor impact sites generally leave a lot of minerals around, which the plant could use, along with the nitrogen-rich soil. Interesting either way.

So... back to my Sunday with my new pet...
I bring it to show my mom. You know, for giggles. She gives it a discerning look and appeared to rather not want to talk about it. I placed it on the kitchen table and proceed to explain how it requires bugs to suck the life out of them. At that point, after taking the lid off of the plastic container it came in, I told her that indeed it would be best to find a bug soon - as the plant can crawl out... "and it will find you!" This didn't sit too well with mom, who rather sternly recommended, "Put the lid back on! You put it on and keep it on! You make sure it stays on." HA! Oh, great fun indeed.

I now have told several friends about my new acquisition. One girl commented that she liked it because it rhymed with "penis." I then began thinking, it starts with a V, and the name Venus is in fact the Goddess of Love. V also begins "vagina." Hmmm... It in fact does have a subtle vaginal shape to it, with the sprouting hairs around it. And in fact, it does trap meat, and suck the life out of it. Well... now I'm getting a bit too visual, but you get the idea. Who knows what one was thinking when they named it. As far as Venus - it has nothing to do with either the planet, nor any Love Goddess. But it is a flytrap. Who knows.

In any case, it is now fodder for a new film script I am thinking of. I got the flytrap right after seeing the new National Geographic story about a moth that has evolved from eating plant nectar, to now sucking blood from animals (including people). This is in Siberia, and is a true story. So... nature evolves to "thin the herd" of mankind. Yes! Interesting, and necessary. Who needs 6.5 billion people on this small orb of a planet. It's time for nature to eat people, instead of people eating nature. But I digress into my usual sociopolitical nature. I'll save that for another blog.

I'm off to find some bugs.