It's Always Fun When I Cut My Throat

It's always something with me. I know that most of you might not have heard about my latest mishaps and adventures of the past week, so I thought I'd share. And yes, the title is true.

WEDS. OCT. 8th - sometime around 11 am.
I'm moving a dresser out of a house, on flat ground, with Gilbert going backwards. I had just come out of the door onto the cement walkway. Someone had thought it a good idea to have thoroughly soaked the new sod. I barely stepped off of the pathway, completely twisting my ankle as I swayed towards the grass. A split-second decision had to be made: 1) Drop everything, and smash the dresser into the cement walkway, or 2) pull and toss the dresser towards the grass in hopes of saving it, but muddying everything. I opted for 2.

Four people watching me, and no one can explain what happened next. A completely freak accident.

I swung the dresser to the right, thus putting all of its weight, combined with mine, completely onto my now twisted (and still twisting) ankle. Collapse time. Somehow, I ended up partially underneath it, but was able to yank it up, and roll out from under it WHILE setting it on its path down into the grass (safely, I might add). I did a strange roll out from under it, and pulled myself upright.

As I was getting up, Gilbert points at me and exclaims, "Now THAT'S a professional!"
As I straightened out, and as I was realizing something wrong, everyone just stared and said, "You need to check yourself out and get to a doctor."

Somehow, as I pulled the dresser, the sharp corner of the dresser caught my skin at the Adam's apple, as it continued upward, poking into my larynx (wind pipe) just under my jaw. As my head snapped back the other way (to follow it), the skin broke loose from the corner. thus cutting my throat. What I didn't realize until later is that it almost punctured my larynx. That would have ended everything rather quickly for me. I am damned lucky (well, luck isn't damning exactly, but you know).

So there I stood, checking my breathing but hearing no gurgling sounds. Good! Swallowing was another story. That hurt like a bitch. I thought about it for a minute and figured, if I can still breathe, I may as well finish the job at hand that I had begun - albeit in pain.

At the end of everything, a group assessment was made about what I should do. Everyone agreed I should be off to the doctors. However, I had no time for appointments, as I had to be in L.A. in the morning. I'd do the Urgent Care thing. At this point, a couple of comments were made -

Gilbert: "Dude, you're not going to be able to swallow for a few days."
Me: "Yes, BUT, that means I'll eat less and lose weight."

Gilbert: "That is going to leave a major mark."
Me: "Yes, BUT, chicks dig scars. It means I have a story to tell. I'll tell them it was a gang fight or a mugging."

(It's all about perceptions.)

So, by 9 pm that evening, I was seen by a doctor. I explained it all to him, along with my personal assessment. I said I was really only there to find out it it was going to be Motrin or surgery. I got lucky. It was Motrin.

The end result was that I have a contusion on my larynx, which seemed OK, but may be more serious, along with the cut across the throat (although not that big). It should have only lasted about 3 days. I'm going on a week now, so I'm going to get seen again, as there was also a possibility of a small fracture or tear in the front of the larynx. Otherwise, I was good to go.

THURS. OCT. 9th -
I'm off to L.A. by plane. Between waking up, and mid-flight, I discovered that the pain in the upper larynx had dissipated. But, the pain across the Adam's apple area was definitely increased. AND, apparently I had gotten minor whiplash from the incident. That's a first for me. I've never experienced that before, and not too thrilled with it. The ankle, throbbing like a ... well, yeah. Only it hurts. Anyway, off to L.A. I go, only to have to drive back later that day. I had to meet with a graphic designer client who works for ABC, and is moving out of a large, beautiful mansion in Pasadena. Somehow though, this meeting also includes meeting his handymen - a guy, with missing teeth and dirty t-shirt, sporting a total blaxploitation 'Fro with a Goodie comb stuck in it (straight out of a bad 70s film), and his partner, some cranked out stoner guy who hangs out at Home Depot for work. Nice diametric of people I meet within one hour.

FRI. OCT. 10th -
A relatively peaceful day, on the road, having a leisurely drive back. What a change.

SAT. OCT. 11th -
Me and a friend are up in Marin (Mill Valley, more correctly), sitting around waiting for someone. Around us are giant Eucalyptus trees. Within a relatively short while, we notice a large Turkey Vulture appear and sit above us. Soon after, another appears. About 10 minutes later, the first one swoops down to rest a bit closer. Roy and I begin discussing how vultures tend to only circle and approach prey that is either already, or soon to be dead (like in the film Westerns on the desert). So we ask each other if we want to flip a coin to see who it's going to be - me or him. We both decide it's not such a good idea. Above us, the vultures loom just a bit closer again, making us just a bit more wary. So we chase them off. But the thought behind it all still stuck for a while.

Anyway, it's now Tues, Oct. 14th, and I am still around, happy and (relatively) healthy.

As I think back, I've survived some major car accidents in the past (no injuries to me somehow), been hit in the head more than a could of times with hard objects (including an actual mugging), had a couple of surgeries, cancer (let's not forget that), other illnesses, and now the throat thing that really could have had a quick and bad ending. And yet, I have made it through.

When I was asked the other day, "Just how many of your lives have you used up already?", my answer is only that I am way beyond any cat. I've probably used up the first nine just in my childhood. Someone, somewhere, wants me here for a bigger and better reason than just to exist. Something to think about for anyone as we go through life and have experiences, or learn from the experiences of others.

Signing out,

Phil :)